It's September, 2014. It's almost time to do another "looking back on the year post" and I've not published anything in nine long months. Which brings me to a point of interest. I've been pregnant for nine long months. It's hard to believe we are in the home stretch of this pregnancy. Less than two weeks away from our due date we are just itching to meet our little guy. I can't believe how fast everything has gone--and how very slow. Way back in March when we announced to everyone our pregnancy, a friend told me

"it's the longest shortest time of your life." 

And that has been so true. These last weeks feel like they are just never going to end and that I will never meet my son. This feeling was totally prominent the weeks leading to my wedding. And here we are, about to celebrate two precious years of marriage.

Time is a funny thing.

I've actually written a lot here. Just haven't published anything. So much of it is random findings on pregnancy, hormones and general body hugeness. Maybe one day I'll get around to organising and sharing. For today I'm just trying to start writing again.

Standing on the brink parenthood has led to a lot of interesting conversations between the hubs and I. What do we value? What is at the core of what we hope to leave Sky (and the others we are already thinking about!) with? What about "education" (unschooling, here we come!)? Are we actually hippies after all? Will we spank? Will we go with crying it out or nursing on demand? Are we interested in purposefully creating a "democracy" in our household or will it be a bit more socialistic? Are we going with the "everyone is a winner, special and destined for greatness" philosophy that seems to have disillusioned so many in our generation? Or will we actually tell them they aren't good at things (like my parents did!) and try to point them in the direction of their natural talents?

I've read SO MUCH! about so many things. And at the end of it all I've kind of thrown most of it out realising no one has had our children in our circumstances with our convictions. I've got a head full of ideas. Now time, God's grace, and general common sense will help us make decisions as we go along. Nothing can prepare us for all the things that will come. Might as well relax and stop trying to plan for the ifs and buts "for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" right?

Not knowing what to expect is one of the hardest things for me to face. Pregnancy has been an incredible journey of releasing things and trusting God in many a new way. My verse has been 1 John 4:18:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Christ took our punishment (Rom. 3:21-31). We do not need to fear.

Signing off now. Truly hoping I make more of a habit of this in the coming months. Remembering is vital.