Many years ago a woman made a dance for the little company she was a part of in Texas. The dance made it's way to me when I was 17. We called it the "sister dance" because in the beginning it was performed by Catherine, Micah and I. Over the years I would perform it with countless others.

Quite by chance, while I was in college I met a woman who knew the choreographer and jumped at the chance to gain permission to continue to use the dance. Permission was granted with the stipulation that I always credit her with the creation of the dance. I did every time.

The dance was, and continues to be timeless. Always moving, in any country, to any people, no matter who I was dancing with. I danced in dozens of locations in a half dozen countries. Any time my mother saw it, she cried. I lit it one time all in red. It was exquisite.

I found the choreographer on Facebook one day. I decided to write her and explain how her dance had traveled to many countries and been presented to countless individuals. She responded graciously, thanking me for the note. That was our only communication.

From time to time she came up in conversation. The dance world is small. The Christian dance world even smaller. I heard she was sick. Saw petitions on walls to pray for her. Silence for a while. And today, I saw that she had passed. So many posts dedicated to her. So much love expressed. So glad I said thank you.

So much for thinking I would keep up with my life in Tokyo. :) I don't even know where to begin to explain the situations we find ourselves in or to express how these have been some of the hardest moments of our lives yet, together and apart. Nothing unforeseeably horrible has happened. Just a series of things that continue to have us running back to Jesus to find truth to stand firm on. We have been called here, to these jobs, for such a time as this.

My pastor was talking about something (I can't recall what the subject actually was) and he illustrated his point by saying that if we were to rub a soft brush over our skin it wouldn't harm it in the least. But if we were to continue this action for hours and hours, eventually the skin would grow irritated and raw. I feel that that analogy sums up where we are currently. We've not been hit hard or thrust into an abyss too dark to see our way out of, we've simply been brushed up against repeatedly for months.

 We are weary. We are learning new ways to depend on the Lord and to joyfully drink from the cup he has set before us. We struggle a lot in this endeavour. At our wedding ceremony we took communion together. Sonny felt it was important to drink everything in the cup as a symbol of accepting God's call on our lives. Someone had filled the rather deep goblet very full and I remember watching him trying to drain the thing and it simply wouldn't run dry. Though we laugh about it now, I've thought about how profound that picture was. We are in the midst of something that simply won't run dry. Pushing and prodding and shoving that won't stop. Little stabs over and over every time we've gone through a new time of seeking God about a situation. We've cried out, "will this ever end, Lord?" too many times to count.

 I am grateful that His cup of grace will never ever run dry. We drink from each morning and wait to see what will come. Each evening at the end of his shift when Sonny calls me with bad, worse or horrible news, we are driven again to drink from that cup of grace that is sufficient for each moment.

Would you pray with us? We are considering new jobs for the spring. I am especially interested in returning to the dance industry in a much larger capacity than I am now (teaching a few times a month). We need wisdom. Lots of it. Sonny will be making decisions about how to proceed in his work in the next few months. We want to persevere where we should and move on out when it is time.

we are moved OUT of the sharehouse and INto an apartment. we've been here about three weeks now. i couldn't be happier. the area we chose is absolutely wonderful! dubbed "tokyo's wooden wonderland" by japan-talk.com, it's full tiny wooden building built one right next to the other and tons of side streets and tiny shops that sell everything from food to clothes to appliances. many of the stores only sell one kind of thing, like fruit, meat, or vegetables.  (there is notebook store near our house. they only sell a few notebooks and writing utensils and it's roughly the size of a large closet. how they stay in business is beyond me...).

we live off of a tram (no longer a proper train line) and that is super fun. it's a tiny, two car affair that runs on tracks but still has to stop at red lights like cars. it's a cross between a bus and a train. very crowded in the morning and evening, but nice because it only takes 3 minutes to get to the bigger station where we transfer to head into the heart of the city.

our apartment is HUGE compared to what we've been living in since we got married. We have a bedroom completely set off from the other two rooms that make up the our living space--one living room type space and a room with a kitchen unit and dining table. there is an adequately sized shower/bath room and of course a toilet. we bought a used washing machine that was delivered last night that fits neatly into a corner of the shower/toilet area (a quick word about buying things for cheap on craigslist/gaijinpot type sights! the less money you pay, the less you can expect--like lint catchers FULL of mildew and 100 year old lint and a vacuum cleaner bag so full stuff is coming out the hole where the pipe connects...but i am not complaining! no more hauling laundry down the street to the little wooden laundromat for me! bleach, peroxide, vinegar and baking soda kill a multitude of nastiness.). we paid very little for the washer, a vacuum cleaner and a fan (much needed since we are without air conditioners for the time being), and the person was nice enough to arrange delivery. i am sooooo grateful!

moving in was an (expensive!) adventure. there were no air conditioners, which sonny was aware of, and there were no light fixtures, which neither of us were aware of! so we lived by the lamp of the stove and sink for the first couple of days with only our phones to guide us in the bedroom after the sun went down. luckily there were lights in the toilet and shower so we didn't have to take flashlights to go pee. :) we went to ikea (thank you jesus for ikea!!!!) and i picked out lighting for the first time in my life. lots of fun! i also chose curtains and have been working on getting all of that squared away. they are still not hemmed, but they are hung!

i am still working out how to manage a full time job, house hold stuff like keeping the house clean, managing meals, budgeting, etc. and finding ways to be involved at church. i find myself asking at times the age old housewife/working woman question, "how am i supposed to get it all done?!"

more posts about that later.

there are a thousand other things i want to say, but i will stop for now. i will try to get pictures up soon!

books and kanji

we went shopping yesterday. i need a backpack and some shoes for school. i've been looking for a while and can't seem to commit to anything. especially the backpack. we wandered around shinjuku, then made our way to shibuya. we looked through a pretty huge used clothing store. i picked up a bag and carried it around while i looked for a black blazer (something i've been wanting but don't want to spend $60.00 on...). i ended up putting the bag back when i saw it better in the light, i couldn't find a blazer i liked (can you wear a black skirt with a different colored blazer? google offered mixed answers), and wearing used shoes is gross to me.

so, abandoning our quest for things we actually need, in true sweatt fashion, we went to a used book store. WITH AN ENGLISH SECTION!!

this is what we ended up going home with...

the start of our lemony snicket collection-for our future children, of course! :)

in other news, i've been studying kanji with renewed passion. we found a new book/method called "remembering the kanji" by james heisig. this man is brilliant. he rearranged the kanji in a way that is easier for the brain to remember by putting together kanji that have the same kinds of parts. in addition, heisig tells a small story using what he calls "primitives" (a different breakdown of the kanji parts than the traditional radicals) and asks you to draw a picture in your mind. he doesn't offer any pictures or drawings, stating that such visuals only cause the imagination to become locked into someone else's idea. by asking you to visualize it yourself, you then form pathways in your brain that cause you to remember. some stories work better than others. but overall i have been really surprised at how much easier the remembering has been.

there is something else kind of weird about the method. it doesn't teach you how to read. the book offers one basic word or phrase to associate with the kanji and that's it. heisig states clearly that his book isn't to teach you to read, only to help you "remember the kanji" (a brilliant title, if i do say so myself). 

if you've struggled with remembering the kanji (oops, sorry) by starting with the traditional ones given to 1st graders or you've tried studying them in the "most used" order, i highly recommend this book. it's actually fun and i look forward to seeing how cleverly heisig can put together primitives to create a story. 

I was writing to my dear cousin this morning and reminded of God's goodness these last few weeks. I have been through lots of ups and downs, but I've come out "seeing His goodness in the land of the living!" (Ps. 27:13).

Where to begin? I didn't mean for it to be so long in between updates! The first few days were such a whirlwind. I'm currently filling out a survey for my new company about how training was for me and I'm really struggling to remember what all happened.

There are two curriculums that we teach daily at the kindergartens. Training was broken down this way: introduction of curriculum number 1, teach curriculum number one to 4 and 5 year olds. Intro to curriculum number 2, teach curriculum number 2 to 4 and 5 year olds.

I was on information overload for a while! I have met 20-plus teachers from all over the world (all with names, beautiful and hilarious personalities, and varying stories!), I have been introduced to and am getting to know a whole new church family, I have dealt with huge numbers of children in a very short time span (forget trying to learn names here!), I have learned to implement two curriculums, each with dozens of songs, games and goals, and I've tried to learn a whole new city! I am pretty much ready to explode. Gratefully, I am much more settled now and am getting more familiar with the curriculums and people every day. The city, well....I'm still working on that!

Hanami (flower gazing) with our church family.

 God has surrounded us with a very wonderful group of people!! The other teachers have been welcoming and understanding and helpful in so many way. And our new church family is incredible! I feel like I'm back at home even though it's my first time. I cannot say enough good things about the individuals who have made both of feel so very welcome and loved.

Sonny is happy to be back with his buddies!

The city has taken a bit of time to get used to. It is infinitely huge, with unending shops, restaurants, bars, and so many people!!! The first week my feet and calves were ridiculously sore. It's better now but I still have to be careful what shoes I choose to walk for hours in. Blisters happen often and heels are NOT my friend. We live about 20 minutes from what I consider "the city". Though we're still in Tokyo. 60 minute commutes are the norm (you're kind of lucky if it only takes an hour!). During training I commuted all over the place and one school in particular took 2.5 hours one way. It's a whole new way of life!

Shibuya on Sunday morning. 

Sorry for the blurriness. The people wouldn't hold still so I could capture the moment. 

Something else that is very different is the necessity to eat out often. If you're only cooking for a couple of people it is just as cheap to eat out as it is to collect all the things you need to cook. We rarely ate out in Gotemba so this has taken some getting used to. I have begun cooking more recently (to give our stomachs a break!), but we still eat out quite a bit. I think once we settle more deeply into regular routines, it will be easier to cook more and make habits of eating in and carrying our own lunches around. 

Celebrating 6 months of happiness in Futakotamagawa.

Lunch one afternoon during training!

That's it for this post. More on share-house living and other city related topics next time!

today has been relatively uneventful. my afternoon class was cancelled so i was able to stay home and clean the apartment completely. this, in turn, allows me to leave for tokyo tomorrow around the time that sonny goes to work. that will give me more time to find my way to the leasing office, the bank where i am to make a new account, and then on to our little room in ota before rush hour hits. i'm a bit nervous about traveling with the two suitcases i plan to take...oh well. it will work out.

since we weren't able to get an apartment in time for this move, we went for the "share house" option in which we rent a room and share the bathroom/shower and kitchen with the rest of the house. in our case there are three other bedrooms, all able to house up to two people each. the shared aspects consist of two toilets, one shower and a rather spacious kitchen/living area. the website says there are "dishes" available.  

                                     

i'm really curious about the general atmosphere of the house. the company we chose to do business with doesn't rent to japanese people. so that eliminates one kind of people i know how to interact with. and leaves a gabajilian possibilities! the range is too huge to try to even begin to imagine scenarios and possible interactions. Chinese? Canadian? Italian? Will we even be able to communicate?  there's always the possibility that everyone is so busy with their lives that there is no interaction at all.

then there is the tricky business of scheduling showers.

sonny will be following in a few days so i will be alone for the initial jaunt into sharing-world. This is my least favorite part of this adventure. he is my defuser, my look-at-bright-side-half in every kind of situation, my it-could-be-so-much-worse grounder when i can't get a grip. besides that, he's just my favorite person in the whole world and it'll be the first time we're not together overnight since we were married.

despite all the unknown things surrounding our move (and the sadness of being away from the other half of my heart for a few days), i am excited. i am ready for some change.

Come visit us any time.


                                           

i'm moving to tokyo in two days. i thought i should write about it.

sonny and i will be living in temporary housing for a month while we wait to see what god does to provide a job for sonny and a permanent place for us to live.

i start training for my new job on thursday. i bought a new suit for the occasion. my shirts are ironed and i have a notebook. i have no idea what to expect.

i've been super discouraged that sonny still doesn't have a job. my heart has been heavy. i'm reading through joshua like i do at this time of year. this time around i've been struck by how the israelites had a war cry within their hearts. one that was to be kept inside until it was time to let it out. we all have a war cry. sometimes it gets silenced by disappointment and things not going like we think they should.

my prayer is that my cry will be kept alive and loud within me until it is time for it to be released. i can only imagine how it must have felt to walk in silence around a thick wall trusting that it would indeed fall.

i'm now going to enjoy the storm roaring outside while i wait for my beloved to get home.