i am off to korea. hard to believe how fast everything is flying by!
your prayers would be so appreciated!

"...since our souls will neither die nor be silent"  -mgp

living with desire is excruciating.
but perhaps the only way to know that there is life in my blood.
so i continue forward
noting with unprecedented certainty that each jab of the knife i hold to my own heart and am commanded to live with is an indication of my well being
till i have it all (at the end/beginning)
this is my burden

everything is rapidly changing
coming to an end
wrapping up
finishing
and starting.

it's overwhelming. i see it in the faces of my students
they're dragging. heart and brain on the floor
i forget how hard it is to uproot for the summer

we leave for korea in a few days
i'm excited (and packed!)
it's the weirdest trip i've ever been on
not in charge but not a "student"
not sure what i am these days-dancing and teaching

last month i was on an "i hate all forms of dance" kick
now look at me
every day. hours and hours
with young people who seem to have boundless energy
and so many issues!! they are always stressed about something
i wish i could tell them to calm down
the stuff is going to be there whether they fret over it or not...

there are a good many things i wish i could say to them
or rather, that i wish they could hear
but all in good time. i say it any way, hoping it will come back as needed
funny how you hear and accept better as your experiences multiply

"that body you're so concerned about, it keeps changing forever. don't get used to it. and don't be upset about it. take care of it."
"your friends, they change too. hold on loosely. the important ones won't go away"
"learn to be alone. it will only serve you in the future"
"life's about a good number of things. stop trying to sum it up with your experiences. there is so much more"
"put the work in. don't complain. the right results will find you with ample opportunity at the right time"
"dream/imagine/hope/ask/persist. sometimes it hurts like hell. there is nothing more worthwhile"

in other news, wedding plans are coming along. moving plans are coming too.
grades are done and will be in in a few days
choosing to remain calm and simply keep moving forward is my every day discipline
my house is an explosion of things-keep, give away, find an owner, throw away
i cannot wait to settle again...and with this guy, no less.
my cup is running over