i.love.teaching.ballet.

i remember vaguely feeling this way last fall. but i mostly remember being terrified by all the newness of my job and feeling deeply the fear my students were enduring being in a completely new environment. i see the nerves and fear in my dear little freshies this year. bless their hearts. i'm hoping and praying that my security  in who i am and what i have to offer eases the tension sooner than last year...

it was eye opening last spring when one of my girls asked, "so, do you like this class now?" what do you say to that? i never disliked it...i was just trying to find myself, i suppose. i have formed a deep bond between those kids with whom i traveled that path of firsts. i love them fiercely and they love me. i will do anything in my power to see them succeed in all that God has for them.

looking around my room of aspiring ballerinas (and my hilarious boys who are talented, but so clueless...) today i was reminded of how far my kids from last year had come. there are a thousand nuances, ideas, concepts and pet peeves to be learned by my new kids. i felt so overwhelmed, i simply skipped certain exercises (like frappes, for example) deciding they needed small doses of ms. gordon at a time. dissertations on the importance of the wrapped foot can wait. i want so badly for them to stay open and ready to receive what i have to offer. the differences in how we teach at bu compared to what most of them have received is often a turn off and i see the hardness to new ideas in the beginning. i encountered more attitudes today than i hope to for the rest of the year. i am amazed at what boundaries, spoken or not, do for the insecure, stone faced, high noses i usually encounter on day one. under that exterior is usually a frightened little dancer eager to please and improve. 

 the blossoming process, though sometimes long and drawn out, is so very rewarding. for now i'm in a frenzy to learn their names before ballet mag starts and i have a new set of 30 girls staring at me in (sweet ;) defiance.

i kind of set out to articulate within this post the joys of working within one's anointing and calling...oh well. i'll try again another day. i have a lot to say about that "sweet spot" idea.