life seems to be coming together all of the sudden
strangely together
more then it has been in a while
i'm even getting glimpses of why i needed to leave
and why this is the better choice

so i'm excited about jackson, mississippi
and all the potential things ahead
even though mia and i may end up in an apartment instead of a duplex
:-)

relationships are hard
especially as you get older
and even more so when you're the boss
or an authority figure

so often i just sit back and ask
what are you doing lord
and try to seek out the sin in my own life
that i may be without reproach in all things

but words hurt regardless
and when you love
it hurts more

life sucks sometimes.

how quickly everything can be sent into a tailspin!

nine

life continues on at a rapid rate
we're doing about three thousand things
and continually leaning deeply on jesus to be our strength and source of all things
i've been keeping my eye on things
on average i think we go through about 50-60 diapers a day
we wash 30-40 bottles/cups
we feed 30-40 times a day
medications are given 12+ times a day depending on who is sick
9 baths are given
5-8 loads of laundry are done
countless hours are spent patting, holding, consoling, loving and pouring into tiny beings
i quit counting how many times i pick up the toys that are endlessly scattered about
we watch "the wheels on the bus" too many times to count
the word "no" is uttered as often as we breathe
so are "i love you" and "you're such a good boy!"
we laugh often at the antics of the older ones
while marveling at the quick progress and growth of the littlest ones
life is certainly hilarious and amazingly involved

i fight to remember why we do what we do
and not get lost in the every day moments of meals, dishes and diapers
god is so good and tender and merciful

tomorrow a family gets the biggest blessing of all time
how very exciting

it's six am
three babies fed
one suctioned
three changed
quarter bag of cheetos consumed
all back to sleep
how different life is
from all my expectations

for her

Sickness beware,

I will be there,

Weakness watch out,

I'll be her crutch,

Sadness, oh you,
Can back away,

'Cause I'll keep her from your rain,

Anger, calm down,

I will stay my ground,

Fear, fear me,

dare not come near me,

Forget about failure,

Lose all the lies,

All you demons beware,

For her,

I'll be there. 

 -t.c.

i have fallen off the face of the earth.

i am learning a whole new side of tired

1.Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart; Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art. Thou my best thought, by day or by night, Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

2. Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word; I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord; Thou my great Father, I thy true son; Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

3. Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight, Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight. Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower. Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

4. Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise, Thou mine inheritance, now and always: Thou and Thou only, first in my heart, High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

5. High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.