on desire and desiring his will

The lord demands that we live in suspension between contentment and wanting more. But on an even deeper level, we are required to live pursuing only his will while simultaneously asking and (painful part) desiring specific things. Never are we allowed the complacency of simply asking for his will. We are required to ask for specific things, and even expect them, while keeping at the forefront of our hearts his will and desiring that above anything. This is hope. This is faith. This is expectancy with compliance and submission. It’s hard and it’s a fine line too easily crossed. Our hearts must be examined constantly for the Holy Spirit to maintain the proper balance.

But desire for specific, tangible experiences cannot ever be omitted from our lives. I expect to travel the world. I expect to bow before kings and queens. I expect marriage. I expect children. I expect many many things. And in these often-painful expectancies, I desire to desire his will above anything in this world. I haven’t mastered this yet.