addendum

my apologies for the rather over-dramatic previous post.
my toes were bruised and i had worn through some skin in spots on my feet
nothing major. just the woes of the first few days.

life is good and i am continuing to find unexpected work here and there.
i'm pretty tired, but resting in his new mercies each morning. :)

bruised and gaping

"ever wanna quit and figure out what you're good at?"

"yeah"

tears were most unexpected today
after waiting in great anticipation
i just didn't expect the not-so-young-any-more version of my brother
or the sweetness that i remembered
or the likeness of my mother's spirit that has always interested me
it resides in me too
i have missed him
i have missed out on something tremendous for years
we can be friends now
it's all water under the bridge

so i cried

in captivity

i want to be like daniel, hananiah, mishael and azariah.

this day

i am endlessly busy these days.
i hardly have time to think
and find myself crying when i do stop to do so
i miss cleaning my house and cooking for the girls i live with.

it's kind of funny in a way...
i go and go and only pause for tears that make me feel a little better until the next pause. :)
as always i must work to find a middle ground that gives me enough time for the important things
i don't  miss the initial weeks of having nothing to do.
but i don't like the constant comings and goings that currently fill my life

two weeks from today will mark a new phase
the season with bsa will start and i can stop trying to fit in dance classes
it will just be part of the day
and life will make that much more sense

it always makes more sense to do what you are created to do...

i'm praying that life gets less complex.
certainly financially the strain will be lifted
though we have learned just how much we can do without
$20 grocery runs for the week for three girls
that's kind of a new obsession.

and now i'm off to sleep before the hours are gone

"if you're still bleeding, you're not healed"

god is infinitely gracious and asks for such simple things

i think i figured it out
i am not made to do the same thing every day
i just want to sleep in

my shulam

tonight quite unexpectedly i miss this people.

micah was in an accident tonight.
a girl, paying close attention to her gps, realized she needed to turn and suddenly pulled in front of her and micah couldn't slow down in time.
by the end of the whole ordeal the other party had successfully made it sound like micah was at fault was as i kept repeating "it wasn't her fault. kairsa cut in front of her"

sigh.

i hope things turn out the way they should

october has come

there comes a time to cut off and wait
then there comes a time to chase after the very thing we cut off

everyone isn't right at the same time
finding your own path means seeking the lord
to know what you have not known
to beg wisdom to "loosen the knots"
these are the goals

love is hard
love hurts
and mostly
love is required