this cup

i've been spending all my time between hospital rooms
rotating as needed between the third and fourth floor
holding, comforting, playing, crying over the baby in 309
begging the lord for mercy, miracles, love to cover senses of abandonment

i've basically followed mom around
learned what she does
done what she does
fought alongside her, cried with her, talked and talked
and sought the lord for his very best for these kids

i wish that more people would walk in those amazing shoes
that more people would open their heart to feel compassion and love
that more people would be broken for these children
that more people would care enough to be hands and feet

there are a lot of other things i shouldn't say that want to come bubbling up
i'm still learning to let things go as quickly as my mother and father do
nothing is worth holding onto except jesus


how we miss this boy