happy monday

talking to friend today for hours on the phone
helping me figure out how to focus my prayer life on what is important
what i can do and how i should be doing it
instead of freaking out over the situation and lack of clarity

sometimes my heart screams
her voice called me down
telling me to just ask the lord what the issues are
the burden will be lifted in time.

today i remembered that i was born to turn.
i love to turn
there is nothing quite so exhilarating as turning
i think that's a lot of why i wanted to be an ice skater

this season is going to be different and exciting

look what i learned to do. :)

more victories

yesterday we were surprised to have the doctor tell us that yutarou could come home. and this morning the hospital called before visiting hours to ask that we please come get shota. we are super excited to have these two boys home! ma-kun is most excited of all. he kept hugging shota. i wish i could have gotten some pictures. but here are a couple of our happy boys.

sitting up like a big boy

attempted smile at the camera

one of his most favorite people

a little skinny after laying in bed for so many days

these dragons

Fairy tales are more than true,
not because they tell us dragons exist,
but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
-- G K Chesterton

a bit of sunshine

feeling better today.

sweet, never sick rin rin

pray pray pray

te-chan


yutaro. happy and ready to come home.
please pray they release him



shota. happy to be eating again
and so happy to be off the 24/hr nebulizer!
he loves to watch little einsteins on my computer


tomo tomo
still in icu. off complete anesthetic but still on relaxers to keep him from fighting
we miss them all a lot

small victories x2

te-chan opened two eyes today.
we have no idea if he sees. but it's something.

shota's 24-hour nebulizer ends in the morning.
he will be a much happier boy

tomoki was put to sleep with an anesthetic to keep him from getting too upset to get well
he's in icu, sleeping

yu can't keep his saturation up when he's sleeping
he was moved downstairs for better watching

we're getting there

pictures to come tomorrow.

epiphany

today i realized that the doctors don't know everything...and sometimes they don't know anything.
so continually asking "why" just stresses them out and frustrates us when we can't get a straight answer...though a simple "i don't know" would have smoothed the situation in my opinion...

our babies are very very sick. it's heart breaking. two are off food completely until...well, we don't know. constant IV. no nutrients to speak of. we have no idea what's going on...and i don't think anyone there knows either...

i've asked the lord a lot the last days why we are still there...asking if we can be done with kodomo byoin for good...why do we have to keep coming back to this hospital...and the answer seemed clear enough. each place that we set our foot is ours. it belongs to the kingdom of god. so we will walk all over that hospital. we will talk to as many people as we possibly can. and we will just keep caring until they ask why. we will keep playing hillsongs until they are overwhelmed by his presence. we will keep praying until they know that it makes a difference.

the lord has given us great love and appreciation for the medical staff that care for our kids. as frustrating as the situation can be, they really try to look after them when we cannot be there. so i now spend my days holding babies and praying for the staff that i see more often them my family.

i am most certain te-chan opened one eye yesterday. i saw that tiny pupil focus on me for brief seconds before the barely open lid slid shut again. my god is big enough even for babies with fifteen minutes of oxygen deprivation and barely any brain cells left. how exciting it will be to hear of te-chan's great adventures while in this deep sleep.

this cup

i've been spending all my time between hospital rooms
rotating as needed between the third and fourth floor
holding, comforting, playing, crying over the baby in 309
begging the lord for mercy, miracles, love to cover senses of abandonment

i've basically followed mom around
learned what she does
done what she does
fought alongside her, cried with her, talked and talked
and sought the lord for his very best for these kids

i wish that more people would walk in those amazing shoes
that more people would open their heart to feel compassion and love
that more people would be broken for these children
that more people would care enough to be hands and feet

there are a lot of other things i shouldn't say that want to come bubbling up
i'm still learning to let things go as quickly as my mother and father do
nothing is worth holding onto except jesus


how we miss this boy

august has always seemed the most elusive month of the year. even more so than february.
constant changes make things go faster
home is beautiful
life is beautiful
relationships, babies, jesus

sitting in Hong Kong waiting for our flight back to japan.
it is so time for home.

briefly

we've been in indonesia for over two weeks now.
we have experienced much.
mostly the unending, unfailing providence, love and amazing timing of the father.
there is more to say than words will ever express
and more pictures than can ever be displayed and enjoyed properly

the first days were filled with relief that clarity and confirmation bring
the next days were delightful
then the sick days came
and then the confused days
and now we're getting ready to leave the island of confusion and battle...also known as bali

we have fought our fights here
we are leaving with confidence that we accomplished our tasks
back to our little houses in karawaci we go. :)

i'm excited for the end